First Times
by stolendreams
Summary: A series of first times. JackIanto. No, not just that sort of first time. First chapter Jack's POV. Second chapter Ianto's POV
1. Jack's First Times

Title: First Time  
Author: stolendreams  
Pairing: Jack/Ianto  
Rating: T  
Summary: A series of first times from Jack's point of view.  
Spoilers: Everything up to and including Out of Time. If it's been aired then there's a pretty good chance it's in here  
Authors Note: No, I don't mean that sort of first time... well not just that sort of first time. My last slash fic on here was mild and open to interpretation, this one isn't. Sorry, it's most definitely slash, if you don't like it then don't read. There may be more added to this, we'll see how the last few episodes go. Also I may do one from Ianto's point of view if enough people ask nicely. Please R&R

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The first time Jack kisses Ianto, the Welshman is almost dead. He comes too and his eyes flash a mixture of confusion and fear and horror and a thousand other emotions Jack can't identify. For a moment, only a moment he stays there and lets Jack hold him. Then Lisa cries out and he's gone, leaving Jack sprawled on the cold concrete in favour of the cyber woman trying to kill them all.

The first time Jack believes Ianto truly hates him is the night after Lisa's death. Ianto doesn't put on a big display; he doesn't throw things or scream and shout. He simply walks into Jack's office and announces that next time Jack chooses to kill himself he won't be bothering to keep the rest of the staff away. He says that he hopes Owen chooses to lock Jack in one of the cells and experiment on him. As he leaves he adds a quick parting shot that it's exactly what Jack deserves.

The first time Jack thinks maybe Ianto doesn't hate him after all is the morning after he lets the fairies take Jasmine. Ianto finds him in his office with slowly healing holes in his chest the size of fists and doesn't walk out or call for Owen. He quietly picks up the alien gun that Jack has used for the job, they haven't worked out where it came from yet, just that it blows rather large holes into things when you point it and them and press the little red button. Ianto puts the gun away and then cleans up the blood. By the time he's finished there are no marks left. Ianto calmly suggests he change his shirt because the others are going to be a little shocked by the blood on it and then leaves.

The first time Jack realises Ianto is no longer scared of him is after the incident with the cannibals. He pulls the gag out of Ianto's mouth and listens to something that sounds suspiciously like a prayer, but could equally be a nursery rhyme for all the Welsh Jack knows. Then, without warning, Ianto collapses forwards into Jack's arms. For a moment Jack thinks he's fainted and is about to shout for Owen until he realises that Ianto is whispering thank you over and over again, his whole body shaking with relief.

The first time Jack discovers Ianto is braver than he realises is a few hours later. He makes Owen check out Toshiko and Ianto, but it takes half an hour before Owen can stop his hands shaking before he even starts. Owen declares Tosh fine and Jack wraps her in a blanket in a vain attempt to stop her from trembling and stands and holds her while Owen sees to Ianto. It's then that Tosh tells him about Ianto giving her an opportunity to escape. He listens to the story and keeps his arms wrapped safely around her, but never once takes his eyes off the Welshman, wondering how many other people on his team would have done the same thing.

The first time Jack kisses Ianto and is kissed back is the same night. After Gwen and Owen have been dropped off at the nearest hospital and Ianto has made tea for the remaining three members of the team, because he says tea is more soothing and he doesn't think anyone should have caffeine in their system until the shaking has completely gone. After Jack has watched Toshiko fall asleep with her head against Ianto's shoulder and seen how effortlessly Ianto rescues her cup before she drops it and convinces her to lie down. Ianto steps towards him and he's so beautiful and fragile that Jack finds himself gathering Ianto to him and kissing him. A second later he realises Ianto is kissing him back. Before he can get any other ideas Tosh stirs and Ianto pulls away.

The first time Jack has sex with Ianto is the night Suzie dies, or at least the night she dies for what he hopes will be the last time. He finds himself standing over her dead body wondering how the intelligent, beautiful woman he'd trusted had turned into a killer. And Ianto, intelligent, beautiful, trusted Ianto stands there and offers himself and the trusty stopwatch. Afterwards Ianto cries in his sleep and Jack isn't sure if he's crying for Suzie or Gwen or Jack or Lisa or Tosh or himself, but whatever it is he wraps his arms around Ianto and holds him close until the crying stops and he sleeps peacefully again.

The first time Jack thinks maybe he's in love with Ianto is after John kills himself. He drives back to the Hub, stopping several times along the way to throw up as his entire body protests about his dying three times in the space of an hour. He leaves John's body in the boot of Ianto's car and realises he's going to have a lot of explaining to do. But when he stumbles into the base Ianto takes one look at him and doesn't ask a single question. He slides Jack's coat off and hangs it up neatly, then without a word takes Jack's arm and leads him down to his room. Jack follows his instructions to sit down on the bed and to take off his shoes. Then Ianto sits on the bed beside Jack and gently pulls him into his arms. Jack falls asleep in Ianto's arms, feeling fingers combing soothingly through his hair and listening to a steady heartbeat.


	2. Ianto's First Times

Disclaimer: As in first part, they're not mine. But they're so pretty I can't resist playing with them. I promise to give them back in more or less the same condition I found them in.  
AN: This part was read by the lovely and helpful dancydreamer over at LJ who reassured me it was good enough to post and then beta'd by the equally lovely and helpful silversolitaire also at LJ. All mistakes are still mine. Happy late Christmas to the people who wanted Ianto's side of this. Please R&R

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The first time Ianto finds Jack dead, he nearly passes out. He's half-way through dialling Owen's number when Jack suddenly gasps and starts breathing again. If it hadn't been for the fact that Jack was lying in a pool of his own blood and there was bloody hole in his chest, right over his heart, Ianto would have convinced himself he had just missed the pulse first time round in his panic. He still might have done if the hole hadn't healed over right before his eyes and Jack hadn't taken the phone off him and suggested he makes them some coffee.

The first time Ianto is kissed by Jack, he doesn't even know about it until it's almost over. He wakes to find himself cradled in Jack's arms, with the other man's lips pressed firmly against his. Then Jack pulls away and motions for him to be quiet. For a moment he can't move, he knows they must be trying to kill her, but Jack has his hand on his chest and somehow he can't bring himself to break eye contact with the man who earlier held a gun against his head. Then Lisa cries in pain and he doesn't care anymore. He scrambles away, vaguely aware of the fact that his sudden movement has caused Jack to partially collapse on the floor behind him, but too afraid that they've killed the woman he loves to give it another thought.

The first time Ianto really, truly hates Jack is only minutes later. He watches Jack cover Lisa with the sauce they put on Myfanwy's food and knows exactly what Jack is going to do and is helpless to stop him. He fights so hard against the hold Owen and Gwen have on him that their hands leave bruises on his shoulders, and he begs Jack to have mercy on her. Her screams mingle with the Pterodactyl's cries to form a sound he will never be able to forget. Outside, he punches Jack, puts all his strength into it, and would do it again if only Gwen wasn't in the way.

The first time Ianto thinks maybe Jack isn't a monster after all is when the fairies take the little girl. He listens to the others condemn Jack, hears Gwen call him heartless and Owen curse and Tosh talk about the look in the mother's eyes, and hates Jack even more. But that only lasts until he sees the look on Jack's face when he walks back in. He gets the whole story from Tosh by making her favourite coffee as soon as Owen and Gwen have left. It's when she admits that she doesn't know what else Jack could have done that he realises, in the end all of them would probably have done the same thing if faced with that choice. The next morning, he finds Jack dead in his office. He cleans up the mess without comment.

The first time Ianto realises he's totally forgiven Jack is after nearly being eaten by cannibals. He watches in terror as Jack bursts in and saves the day. He can pinpoint the moment when his anger and disgust change to concern and compassion. It's the moment Jack looks at him. Jack pulls the gag out of his mouth and Ianto makes a pathetic attempt to hide his sheer dread by voicing a prayer to a god he doesn't even believe in in Welsh. The relief is so overwhelming and Jack is being so gentle and looking so concerned that he finds himself collapsing forward against him, shaking, as he whispers his thanks over and over.

The first time Ianto kisses Jack back is the same night. He makes tea, because the last thing they need is coffee when Tosh has only just stopped shaking and he still jumps at every unexpected noise. Eventually, exhaustion takes over and Tosh falls asleep against his shoulder. It's only when he gets her settled that he discovers Jack has been standing there watching every move. Jack, looking so calm and unruffled and in control, despite the fact that he shot a dozen people within the space of a minute. Ianto finds himself stepping forward and allowing himself to be drawn into a kiss. He kisses back. The moment is lost when Tosh stirs in her sleep. He pulls away and avoids looking at him while he tidies up the tea cups.

The first time Ianto sleeps with Jack is after Suzie dies the second time. He does the clean up, just like he always does, except this time Jack appears and makes half-hearted suggestions that it should be him doing it. They stand there on either side of their dead colleague and for the first time since they all came back, Jack lets his guard down. Ianto can see the pain and the exhaustion and how much it hurt to shoot Suzie so many times and to think that he'd lost Gwen too. He does the only thing he can think of, he offers himself to Jack. It takes a moment for Jack to catch on but when he does the smile is well worth the wait. In the morning he awakes to Jack kissing him and this time he's not confused or frightened at all.

The first time Ianto thinks he might be falling in love with Jack is after John kills himself. He spends the night in Jack's bed, just holding him as he sleeps. Whatever Jack says about never sleeping, Ianto knows that he always sleeps after he dies. He realises though that he's never before actually seen him sleep; usually he knows when Jack wakes screaming from nightmares that Ianto has never had the courage to ask about. For the first time, Ianto is in Jack's bed fully clothed and watching him sleep. He discovers that somehow, in his sleep, Jack becomes vulnerable. One fist grips Ianto's shirt lightly, as though, even in sleep, he is afraid he will be left alone. The thought of leaving never crosses Ianto's mind.


End file.
